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The Country Side Press

Debby Schoeningh, author

Waiting at the Open Gate

By debbers 3 Comments

You wouldn't know by looking at her, but No. 110 likes to give wet willies.
You wouldn’t know by looking at her, but
No. 110 likes to give wet willies.

My rancher husband and I were out checking water and he asked me to open a gate. As usual, he was driving, so being the dutiful ranch wife ninja that I am, I jumped out of the moving pickup — ranchers like that you know, shows you are on the ball — even if the pickup is winding down to a stop and only going about 1/10th of an inch an hour, it’s moving, so it still counts!

I unlatched the 50 or so fasteners that range from chains and bailing twine to metal clips as I have learned this is the way of the West — rather than take the time to replace a damaged gate — ranchers just keep wrapping it up until it looks like a straightjacket  wrapped around two boards.  I finally get the gate open, and as my husband swooshes through the opening at his usual breakneck speed, he yells, “Leave it open, be back in a minute!”

As I watch the backend of the pickup fade into the distance, I realize I have been in this position before, several times. “Leave it open” means I have to stand there and make sure no cows escape until he returns because the gate takes too long to unlatch and open again. So, I wait. And wait. And wait.

One by one the cows come up and sniff me, wondering what kind of new fangled fence post I am. Cow No. 110 goes so far as to stick her wet tongue in my ear, and if you know cows, you know that is not a pleasant experience. Not only are their tongues dripping with slobber and half digested cud, they have the texture of  very coarse sandpaper. After I yelped and shoed her away, the whole herd took off running, making my defense of the open gate less critical.

Boredom was setting in, but fortunately I had my cell phone with me. I sent a text message to a friend and explained to her my situation.

“How long has it been?” she asked.

“Long enough, I think I just saw a couple of buzzards do a flyby,” I answered.

A few more exchanged text messages and a couple of games of Solitaire later, I finally decided I needed to take action. It had been 45 minutes and that’s about the limit of my “leave it open, be back in a minute” patience. My plan was to close the gate and walk until I found my husband, it seemed like a better option than just standing around.

I closed the gate and took care to reattach all of the gate fasteners as I sure didn’t want a cow to get out on my watch, been there, done that, and it’s not a pleasant experience when the rancher finds out. Just as I was closing the last fastener, guess who showed up?

“I thought you were going to leave it open,” he said.

“I thought you were just going to be a minute,” I replied.

An eye-roll standoff ensued.

 

 

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Comments

  1. 1

    Tom ward says

    at

    Lok out for 87

    Reply
  2. 2

    Glenda carter says

    at

    Too funny. I have one of those gates at my house with all kinds of fasteners. LOL

    Reply
    • 3

      Ranch Wife Ninja says

      at

      LOL Glenda!

      Reply

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