Growing up in Oregon, I have heard tales of Bigfoot my entire life. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would see signs of the elusive beast. But a couple of days ago, when I was out walking the dogs, the Yeti became real to me.
It was a sunny winter afternoon as I walked across the cow pasture with my faithful wiener dogs leading the charge. We were engrossed in the scenery and preoccupied with looking for signs of squirrels and mice. Suddenly the dogs turned and started barking wildly at something behind me.
I scanned the ground looking for something to defend myself and the dogs against whatever wicked thing (I suspected a badger or coyote) was intruding on our peaceful outing. Oh why had I foolishly left my sidearm in the house!? I spotted a rock and a large stick and quickly played the best case scenario in my mind. I would drop and roll, hurl the rock at the unsuspecting, no-good scary thing behind me. When it was recovering from the sharp sting of the rock, which hit directly between its eyes, I would grab the stick and beat it senseless.
Perhaps I was a bit overconfident about my ninja-like abilities. Nevertheless, I decided to confront it head-on, so I whirled around preparing to put my plan into action. I fully expected to see something creeping up behind me, because as everyone knows, wiener dogs don’t bark without a good reason.
To my astonishment there was nothing behind me except for these huge footprints that looked like they were coming right toward me and then mysteriously stopped. I leaned down to examine the prints, which weren’t too far from my face, because when I had whirled around, I had tangled my feet and fell down. Good thing it wasn’t an angry badger as I would have made myself an easy target. As it was, I got a good face-licking, which happens whenever you get on a wiener dog’s level.
The footprints looked huge and sunk deep into the snow, as you can see by the photo, at left, comparing one to the size of my hand. My mind raced trying to make sense of the situation. I thought maybe an alien with a cloaking shield had been sneaking up behind me. Then I thought, maybe I had been watching too many Star Trek reruns lately… There had to have been something there because those hideously huge footprints following me just didn’t come out of thin air. And the wiener dogs had been doing some serious barking. So, I knew it wasn’t my imagination.
And then it dawned on me….those were my footprints…I’m Bigfoot! Oh Lordy, I had no idea that my tootsies are so gigantic! I’m the elusive ape person – Debby Yeti – that everyone has been earnestly seeking for years. Mystery solved! You are welcome.